there’s a news headline generator that mixes words from real news headlines and they are fucking golden
these sound completely legit
WHY IS THE FUTURE
y’all react to the word sex the way dogs react to the word walk
Saw my all time favourite dress. Great opportunity to shoot some close-ups!
THIS IS A FUCKING DRAGON DRESS YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE
You can see the exact moment where it goes
"I HAVE MADE A HORRIFIC MISTAKE. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK F-"
And then it falls in.
australians dont have sex
I spat out my coffee
sorry about your
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
Ellen should win an Oscar for being Ellen
"and the oscar for best ellen degeneres goes to…. ellen degeneres"
"And the oscar for best Leonardo Dicaprio goes to … Ellen Degeneres"